


Cars and Effect

by DinerGuy



Category: Psych
Genre: Action/Adventure, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-28 07:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinerGuy/pseuds/DinerGuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes staying in the car can be just as dangerous as not staying in the car.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a challenge over on Psychfic.
> 
> Disclaimer: Psych is not mine, and I lay claim to none of it.

“Stay in the car,” Lassiter instructed, turning off the engine and unsnapping his seatbelt.  
  
In the backseat, Shawn was quick to object. “But Lassieface, who will guard your seven if we don’t go in with you?”  
  
Lassiter turned around to glare at him. “That would be my six, Spencer. And that is why I brought O’Hara.”  
  
“I’ve heard it both ways,” Shawn shrugged.  
  
“Besides, it’s just a simple interview of a suspect.” Lassiter rolled his eyes and opened his door.  
  
Shawn raised a hand. “One more question.”  
  
Juliet turned from the passenger seat. “Shawn, really. Just stay in the car until we get back.”  
  
“But Jules,” Shawn whined, “how will I get any readings from the guy if I’m not inside?”  
  
“Have you ever tried shutting up?” Lassiter suggested wryly. “Maybe you’d be able to get them better.”  
  
“Not an option,” Shawn was quick to reply. “Talking is all part of my method.”  
  
“Whatever,” Lassiter shook his head and got out of the car, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Juliet gave her boyfriend one last look before following her partner.  
  
After her door had closed as well, Shawn pulled a face. “Well, that went well.”  
  
“Shawn, stop it,” Gus elbowed him. “It’s bad enough that you somehow got the chief’s permission for us to come along on this. But I will not let you drag me into a potentially dangerous situation.” He crossed his arms and sat back in the seat.  
  
“This time.”  
  
“What?” Gus looked over.  
  
“You won’t let me drag you into a potentially dangerous situation this time,” Shawn clarified with a smirk. “I’ve done it before.”  
  
“Yes, I know.” Gus gave a long-suffering sigh. “And every time, I find myself regretting it afterwards.”  
  
Shawn just grinned at him. “Come on.”  
  
“Come on what?” Gus looked his friend up and down. “If you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, you’re out of your mind.”  
  
“No, Gus, I am not suggesting we steal Lassie’s car and run off together,” Shawn looked offended. “I love you, but my idea is much more reasonable.”  
  
Gus smacked him. “You know very well what I meant. You are not getting out of this car. Lassiter and Juliet told us to stay put.”  
  
“Where’s the fun in that?” Shawn wanted to know. He pointed out the window. “Look, there’s nothing wrong out there. Have you heard any gunshots since they went inside?”  
  
Gus reluctantly followed Shawn’s finger and studied the exterior of the office building. Not many people were there in the middle of a Saturday afternoon, and it looked almost abandoned. There were only a few other cars parked around the lot, and the few crumpled pieces of paper blowing around were the only sign of movement.  
  
“No,” he finally admitted. “But,” he quickly added as Shawn grinned, “I am not going in there, and you cannot make me.” He narrowed his eyebrows determinedly as if daring Shawn to do something about it.  
  
Shawn seemed to contemplate things for a moment, then shrugged. “Okay, fine; we’ll do it your way.”  
  
“Thank you,” Gus said, pleased that he had finally gotten through to his best friend.  
  
There was silence in the car for less than thirty seconds before Shawn spoke up again.  
  
“I wonder if I could fit in Lassie’s trunk.”  
  
“What?” Gus looked sideways at the other man. “Shawn, what does that even have to do with anything right now?”  
  
Shawn shrugged. “I’m bored,” he offered, as if that explained everything.  
  
“You’re bored, and that’s the first thing that came to your mind?” Gus wanted to know.  
  
“Well, not the first thing,” Shawn hedged. “What do you think?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Do you think I could fit in the trunk?” Shawn repeated.  
  
Gus raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Bet you fifty dollars I can.”  
  
“You don’t even have fifty dollars,” Gus snorted. “I had to pay the bill at lunch earlier because you didn’t have any money with you.”  
  
Shawn made a face. “True.” He twisted to the side to get a hand in his jeans pocket. “How about I bet you… two quarters and a stick of gum?” he offered, holding the objects out in the palm of his hand.  
  
“Shawn, if you want to squeeze yourself back there, fine,” Gus said, raising his hands. “Go ahead.”  
  
“Great!” Shawn grinned and scooted off of the seat. He pressed the button on the top of the seat to pull it forward into the car and allow him access to the trunk. He had the expression of a five year old in a toy store as he squirmed through the hole that he had made.  
  
Gus heard several muffled _thumps_ as Shawn moved around behind the seat, then Shawn stuck his head back through the hole through which he had just disappeared. “Gus! This is great. And roomy,” he added. “You should totally come back here too.”  
  
“What? Shawn, you must be crazy. I am not getting back there. Do you know how much these pants cost?”  
  
“Gus,” Shawn sighed, “You couldn’t ruin your pants in here. This trunk is so clean you could eat off of it. Like Woody’s autopsy table, only softer and fuzzier.”  
  
“Shawn, I am not crawling into that trunk with you just to prove a point,” Gus objected.  
  
There was a pause, then Shawn suddenly made a noise of annoyance. “Gus. Gus! My pants are stuck.”  
  
“Your what?” Gus laughed. “Shawn, come up with something better.”  
  
“No, really, buddy! My pants leg is stuck on… something.” Shawn’s voice grew slightly fainter as he retracted his head back into the trunk. “I can’t see back here. Gus, do you have a flashlight? Or wait. Lassie has one in the glove box I think.”  
  
Gus rolled his eyes and sighed. Only Shawn could get himself into this kind of situation. “You’d better not be kidding.” He unhooked his seatbelt and got to his feet, leaning over the passenger seat to find the flashlight Shawn had mentioned.  
  
He pulled the glove box open and began to rifle through its contents. Car registration, proof of insurance, spare gun, crime scene tape… Aha. Flashlight. As Gus started to turn back to the trunk, however, movement outside the car caught his eye and he froze.  
  
There was a suspicious-looking man making his way slowly towards the car. The figure was wearing an oversized hoodie and baggy jeans. His hair was cut short, almost buzzed, and he was looking around like he was keeping an eye out for someone. Not far behind him was a second figure. This man looked to be a few years older, but who was only slightly more kempt than the first, decked out in jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap.  
  
The part that worried him the most was the gun he could see sticking out of the second man’s pocket.  
  
Gus ducked down as quickly as possible, hoping they hadn’t seen him. Something in his gut was telling him it would be a good idea to stay out of sight.  
  
“Did you find it yet, buddy?” Shawn called from the trunk.  
  
“Shh,” Gus whispered, motioning behind him with his free hand as he raised his head to peek cautiously from the window.  
  
“What?” Shawn asked, his voice still muffled. He looked out of the opening behind the seat again. “Gus, I need that flashlight if I’m going to get unstuck and help you spy on Lassie.”  
  
The two men outside of the car were getting closer, and Gus could hear snatches of their conversation now, although most of it was still unintelligible.  
  
“…this one?”  
  
“No… around.”  
  
“…kay. You wiring…?”  
  
“Whatever… just jack it and… out of here…”  
  
Gus had heard enough by now. The first man was already at the car, his hand on the latch, and Gus scrambled backwards, angling towards the entrance to the trunk while doing his best to still stay hidden.  
  
“Gus! What are you doing?” Shawn had to move his head quickly to keep from getting kicked.  
  
“Shh!” Gus hissed again, pulling the seat almost completely closed. He left a small crack so the interior of the car was still visible.  
  
“What is going on?” Shawn asked again in an exasperated whisper.  
  
“There is a man with a gun out there, Shawn, and he and his friend are about to steal this car!”  
  
Shawn just looked at him. “C’mon buddy. You can do better than that.”  
  
“No, really, Shawn!” Gus protested. “And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather they didn’t see me.”  
  
“Really?” Shawn’s expression, from what Gus could see in the half-lit trunk, was a mix of excitement and apprehension. “You couldn’t just honk the horn and wave to let them know there were people still using this car?”  
  
“One of them happens to have a gun,” Gus defended himself. “And I am not going to get shot today if I can help it.”  
  
Shawn had an eyebrow raised. “And what happens once they do steal the car?” he wanted to know. “What do we do then?”  
  
But before Gus could answer, the two friends heard the sound of the lock popping open. They exchanged looks.  
  
“He just picked the lock,” Shawn whispered.  
  
“I figured that much,” Gus shot back.  
  
“Now what?” Shawn wanted to know.  
  
Gus was quiet for a moment.  
  
“Gus.”  
  
“Shh, Shawn.” Gus motioned for him to be quiet. The men’s voices were in the car now, and the last thing they needed was to be discovered.  
  
The car engine started, rumbling the rest of the car as it warmed up.  
  
“What if we screamed really loudly?” Shawn wanted to know. “Do you think Lassie and Jules would hear us?”  
  
“Not before we got ourselves shot,” Gus whispered in return. “Now shh.”  
  
The vehicle jerked slightly as it started backwards, and the _crunch_ of gravel could be heard as it turned, then it jerked again as the driver changed gears and started forwards.  
  
“We shouldn’t be letting them just steal us like this,” Shawn told Gus after a moment. “We should get a say in the matter. Plus, Lassie’s going to be upset that someone stole his car- again.”  
  
Gus put a finger to his lips. They had already been moving for several minutes, and he was trying to listen to the men’s conversation in an attempt to figure out where they were headed.  
  
His whispered conversation with Shawn had kept Gus from listening in on what the car thieves were saying, but suddenly, he realized that there were no longer any other voices in the vehicle.  
  
The car slowed just then and pulled to the side, then the engine suddenly cut off.  
  
Shawn must have been thinking the same thing Gus was, because he glanced at his friend at the same time Gus glanced at him. The look on Shawn’s face matched Gus’s thoughts, but neither had time to say anything before the seats were pulled down and they found themselves looking into the faces of the two thieves. The men only looked slightly shocked at their discovery; Gus was pretty sure they mostly looked angry.  
  
“Who are you?” the one in the baseball cap demanded. He had a gun pointed at them, and Gus swallowed hard at the sight of the gun barrel. “And what are you doing in my car?”  
  
“Technically, it’s not your car,” Shawn corrected, grinning up at the thieves. “It’s Lassie’s car. And he’s not going to be happy you took it.”  
  
The man just glared at him.  
  
“Oh, also,” Shawn added, raising a hand. “Can someone lend me a hand? My pants are still stuck back here.”  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one! I have had a ton of stuff come up in my life lately and it's got me really busy and stressing out over some of it. So... unfortunately that means that a few things (such as fic) got stuck on a back burner. I can't bear to leave you all in suspense for too long, so I made myself sit down and get this chapter finished out tonight. Hopefully I'll be better about the rest of the chapters, but we'll see. ;) Enjoy!

"Where's my car?"

Lassiter and Juliet were standing in the parking lot of the office building, next to the space where the head detective clearly remembered leaving his vehicle. He knew that it was the right parking spot because he had noticed the nearly dead planter of hideous flowers on the right, as well as the pile of someone's disgusting old take-out trash in the space directly in front of his.

His partner was shading her eyes with one hand, surveying the parking lot as if they had simply misplaced the car. "I don't see it, Carlton."

"Well of course not," Lassiter snapped. He wasn't trying to be harsh, but there was such a thing as overstating the obvious. "Someone stole it."

"Now you don't know that for sure," Juliet cautioned.

"Yes, I do," Lassiter stated. "Either that..." he trailed off as the thought hit him. "Spencer!"

"Shawn!" Juliet gasped. "He was in the car!" Her brow knit with worry.

"In the car? O'Hara, he probably moved it." Lassiter's frown deepened. "I bet he and Guster are sitting around the corner, laughing their stupid heads off about it."

"Carlton, you took the keys," his partner reminded him. "Shawn couldn't have driven it off."

"I wouldn't put it past him to know how to hotwire a vehicle," Lassiter grumbled. "Henry probably taught him."

Juliet sighed. "Look, we just need to concentrate on finding your car. We can worry about everything else later." She pulled out her phone and hit the speed dial for her boyfriend's number. She put her phone to her ear and listened for a moment, then lowered the device and ended the call. "No answer." She pressed the redial button and raised the phone again.

Pulling out his own cell phone, Lassiter dialed the station. "McNab," he said as soon as the other line was picked up. "I need to you to track my car."

By the time he finished with his call, Juliet had finished hers as well. She didn't look any less worried than she had a few minutes before. If anything, she actually looked even more worried.

"I can't get an answer from Shawn or Gus," she told Lassiter. "I left them messages, but it's not like Shawn to ignore my calls."

Lassiter was watching his phone, as if he could will it to ring again. "McNab is going to call me once they get a lock on my car's GPS."

"And in the meantime..." Juliet prompted.

"They're sending a cruiser to pick us up," Lassiter told her.

Juliet had been glancing around the parking lot again, and she pointed towards the building across the street from the one they had just exited. "Look, there's a security camera. If we can get a look at those tapes, we might be able to find out what happened to your car."

"It's worth a try," Lassiter acknowledged. Before he could say anything else, his phone vibrated in his hand. "McNab, tell me you have good news," he said as soon as he answered the call.

Watching his face, Juliet could tell that whatever news Buzz did have was not quite as good as Lassiter had hoped.

"Can we track Spencer or Guster's cell phones?" Lassiter asked, the scowl on his face darker than almost any Juliet could remember having seen. "What do you mean, you can't get a signal?" He paused to listen to the other man. "Fine. But call me if anything changes!" He disconnected the call and turned to Juliet. "McNab said they can't get a signal from my car's GPS; it's most likely disabled."

"If it was a stupid prank, Shawn wouldn't have gone that far," Juliet pointed out, relieved that her boyfriend was not actually at fault.

Lassiter grunted. "The same goes for Spencer and Guster's cell phones, apparently. They can't get any signal, which means the phones are either turned off or the GPS is disabled."

Trying to remain as professional as possible, Juliet swallowed her worry and squared her shoulders. "Okay. Let's see if anyone's around to let us look at that security footage."

* * *

"This is all your fault."

"How is this my fault, Gus? I did nothing to cause this," Shawn whispered indignantly. "Lassie said to stay in the car. I stayed in the car. I didn't post a sign asking for thieves to come steal it!" Shawn paused a moment to allow his friend to acknowledge the fact, but when Gus didn't say anything, he continued. "Look, you're closer to the trunk. Can you find the tail light and kick it out?"

"Oh no, Shawn," Gus objected. "I am not going to give Lassiter any reason take my head off. I am not touching his car."

"Technically you already did," Shawn pointed out.

"You know what I meant!"

Shawn sighed. "But Gus, how else are we going to see where we are?"

"What good will that do us?" Gus wanted to know. "We're locked in a trunk in a car being driven to who knows where by a pair of carjackers! Who, by the way, happen to have both our cell phones so we can't call anyone for help. And a gun if you forgot. Plus, my claustrophobia is starting to flare up."

"Gus, you are not claustrophobic."

"Yes I am, Shawn."

The car drove over a bump just then, causing the occupants of the trunk to bounce up and down, knocking against each other and the sides and top of the enclosed space.

When they had recovered sufficiently, Gus continued. "So no, I am not going to kick out the tail light. And no," he added when Shawn started to speak, "I am not going to move so you can get to it. There's not enough room for us to switch places anyway."

Shawn made a noise of annoyance. Gus couldn't see his friend's face in the dark, but he was willing to bet it was puckered into a classic Shawn pout.

"Gus," Shawn started, "I'm sure Lassie will forgive you for kicking out-"

"No, Shawn," Gus interrupted. "He might forgive me, but he will also make me pay for the repairs, and I already spend enough money taking care of you. I don't have extra cash to just pay a car repair bill."

"Sure you do," Shawn replied. "You currently have fifteen thousand thirty five dollars in your savings account, not to mention what's in your checking account."

Gus knew his friend couldn't see him, but he still gave Shawn the darkest glare he could muster. "Oh no; you did not hack into my bank accounts again."

"Technically it's not hacking if I already knew the password. Ow!" Shawn yelped as Gus elbowed him. "Seriously, Gus, if you want to keep me out, you should come up with a better answer to those security questions than things your best friend knows about you."

Gus sighed and fell silent. Arguing with Shawn had helped keep the worry from his mind, but it was there, nagging at him. He had no idea who the two men in the car were or why they had stolen Lassiter's car. He assumed they were just run-of-the-mill car thieves who had picked the wrong vehicle, but now the men knew that he and Shawn were in the car.

They hadn't said much after Shawn had asked them for help. Gus snorted softly. It was just like Shawn to ask a carjacker for help. The men hadn't seemed very impressed either. They had simply rolled their eyes and slammed the trunk shut again, leaving Shawn and Gus in the dark as the car again started up.

Now all four of them were on their way to somewhere Gus could only guess, and he was finding himself very worried when he imagined where they were possibly headed. Only a small portion of the scenarios running through his mind actually ended with both him and Shawn getting away in one piece.

Caught up in his thoughts, Gus didn't even notice that the rocking motion of the moving car was slowly lulling him into a drowsy state. A few moments later, he had drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Gus wasn't sure how much time had passed before he woke. He jerked awake with a start, banging his head against the top of the trunk as he tried to sit up.

The noise, as well as Gus's accompanying groan, prompted a sudden intake of breath from Shawn.

"Gus?" he asked, moving his hand to the side until it located Gus's hand. "Gus, where are we?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Gus asked, somewhat indignantly.

"Well," Shawn continued, undaunted by his friend's response, "we've stopped moving."

Gus rubbed a hand across his face. "That much I can tell."

"I can't hear anyone," Shawn said after a moment. "Do you think they left?" He paused, then added, "Is that good or bad?"

There was silence in the trunk for a moment, then Shawn spoke up again. "Well, we can't just lie here all day and hope someone comes find us. It's getting stale in here already."

Gus  _hmphed_ and crossed his arms. "I hope you have an idea to get out that does not include destroying Lassiter's car in the process. And if you do, I will not hesitate to tell him it was you so that he doesn't take it out of my hide."

"You're no fun, Gus," Shawn replied distractedly.

Gus could hear several unidentifiable noises, then Shawn bumped against him. "Shawn, what are you doing?"

"Trying to find a way out of here," Shawn told him. "Gus, look for a crowbar or something we can use to pry open the trunk."

"And just how do you suggest I find a crowbar in a dark enclosed space?"

"Just feel around for it!" Shawn exclaimed. "Come on, buddy. Help me out."

"Fine, fine," Gus grumbled, moving his hands around blindly. There was silence again for a few minutes, then Gus made contact with something long, cold and hard. "I found something!" he announced.

"Great!" Shawn's voice reflected the grin that was most likely plastered on his face. "Can you use it to open the trunk?"

"Hold on, let me try." Using his hands to feel for the seam of the trunk, Gus leveraged the metal bar into position and pushed down on it as best as he could in the small space. It took some straining, but he was finally rewarded by the groan of metal as the latch gave way.

"You did it!" Shawn pushed the trunk lid open the rest of the way, scrambling to his feet.

The two friends climbed out of the car, blinking in the sudden bright sunlight. As their eyes adjusted to the light, Gus looked back at the car, and his face fell.

"Shawn…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I just looked at how long it's been since I updated this thing. I am so sorry! Life just got away from me somehow. But I wrote you an extra long chapter to finish up the story! Hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Not betaed, so any mistakes are all mine.

Shawn looked around, shading his eyes with his hand. “I don’t think we’re in Canada anymore, Gus.”

“It’s Kansas, Shawn, and we were never there anyway.”

“Maybe we’re there now,” Shawn suggested. “Because this certainly doesn’t look like Santa Barbara. Quick, Gus, where are we?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Gus shot back. “I don’t know the topography of the entire state of California by heart.”

“What if we’re not in California?” Shawn wanted to know.

“Then I would have even less of a chance of knowing.” Gus crossed his arms and glared at his friend. “And why is this all falling on me to figure out where we are? You’re the one who got us into this mess in the first place. Why don’t you figure something out?”

“Fine, I will,” Shawn rolled his eyes and turned back to the car. “Dude, they took everything!”

Gus whirled around to face the car to see what Shawn meant, and his heart dropped as he did.

The car was up on cinderblocks (although Gus wasn’t sure how that had even happened without them waking up during the process), and a quick glance at the interior showed that the radio was missing. The hood was up too, and even though Gus couldn’t see inside of it, chances were high that there were parts missing.

He glared at Shawn. “This is all your fault.”

“My fault?” Shawn yelped. “Dude, it’s your fault. You’re the one who told me to stay in the car.”

“Actually, Lassiter did that,” Gus corrected his friend indignantly. “I just told you to obey what you’d been told.”

Shawn grimaced. “Well fine then. It’s Lassie’s fault, but it’s still yours second.”

“Whatever, Shawn,” Gus retorted, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t very inclined to be even slightly polite at the moment; he was stuck in the middle of nowhere and his shoes were in no way appropriate for hiking miles and miles back to civilization.

There was silence for a minute, and Gus was about to apologize for snapping at his friend when Shawn spoke again.

“Do you think if we send up smoke signals it’ll get us help faster?” he inquired, staring up at the sky thoughtfully.

Gus snorted. “If you had something to burn, maybe. But in case you haven’t noticed, there is nothing around you can use--besides the car,” he added when Shawn glanced over. “And whatever wrath of Lassiter’s that we might escape for the carjacking, we certainly won’t live if we burn his car.” He gave his friend a stern glare. “Now, I’m going to start walking. You can come if you want.”

“You’re the one who fell asleep first anyway,” Shawn complained, jogging to catch up with Gus who had turned and started down the road in the middle of his last statement.

When Gus refused to answer him, Shawn also fell silent for the time being, concentrating on walking rather than on having any kind of conversation. But anyone who knew Shawn Spencer knew that he couldn’t last very long in silence, however hard he tried.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something else, they topped a rise in the road and the most welcome sight came into view. There was a small service station alongside the asphalt highway, and beside it, a roadside diner that was only slightly larger. Beyond it lay the beginnings of a large wood that stretched for at least several miles. There were five vehicles parked in the lot outside of the establishment. Shawn counted three pickup trucks, one SUV, and one old car that looked like it was at least fifteen years old.

“Maybe someone here can help us!” Shawn exclaimed.

Gus just grunted. “I hope they can, because this day cannot possibly get any worse.”

“Now don’t say that, Gus,” Shawn chided. “There are plenty of ways it could get worse. One, it could be raining. Two, the bad guys could have taken all of our clothes. Three, it could be raining _and_ they could have taken all of our clothes.”

Rolling his eyes, Gus grabbed the door and swung it open. “I’m still mad at you, Shawn.”

“Of course, you are, buddy,” Shawn patted him on the shoulder. “You know what will make it better, though? Pie!” he supplied, catching sight of the display case on the counter. His eyes lit up and he turned to Gus with a grin. “They have three kinds!”

“We did not come here to eat pie, Shawn.” Gus shook his head.

“ _You_ might not have. Can I have one of each?” Shawn asked the woman behind the counter.

The red-haired woman gave him a skeptical look. “You got any money, sweetheart?”

Shawn leaned over to Gus and whispered, “I don’t think she meant that.”

“What?” Gus whispered back.

“‘Sweetheart.’”

The sound of the woman clearing her throat brought their attention back to her. “Are you going to answer my question or keep whispering?” she asked.

“Oh. Right.” Shawn patted his pockets. “Gus! They took our wallets!”

“You didn’t remember that?” his friend asked. “I apologize,” he told the woman before dragging Shawn back to stand by the door. “You knew we didn’t have any money when we walked in here.”

Shawn crossed his arms. “I knew _I_ didn’t have any money. I didn’t know if you had any stashed away somewhere...”

“Where would I... Shawn!” Gus interrupted himself when he saw his friend was no longer paying attention to him. “Shawn!”

“Shh, look.” Shawn pointed out the glass door. “Look, Gus!”

Looking where his friend was pointing, Gus suddenly swallowed hard. There were two eerily familiar-looking men crossing the parking lot. “They look mad,” he whispered to Shawn.

“They took Lassie’s car,” Shawn reminded him. “For all we know, Lassie probably tracked them down already and called to threaten their lives.”

Gus smacked his arm. “Shawn, they’re coming inside!”

Without another word, both friends hurried for the booth in the far corner, stumbling over each other to get there first. They ignored the looks from the diner’s patrons and ducked as low as they could in the high-backed benches.

The bell over the door jingled a moment later. Gus, who was sitting on the side of the booth facing the door, looked wide-eyed at Shawn. “They came in,” he whispered.

Shawn turned to look, doing his best to stay inconspicuous. “Where did they get another car so fast?”

“Who cares?” Gus hissed back. “They’re here, and we are too. They’ll probably just shoot us both on sight if they notice us.”

“Gus, don’t be Spiderman in the Avengers movies,” Shawn chided. “They wouldn’t do that in front of all these people.”

Gus frowned. “Spiderman wasn’t in the Avengers movies, Shawn.”

“Exactly.” Shawn turned to look around the side of the bench again. The two men were at the counter, placing orders with the waitress. “Gus, there’s a payphone in the corner. Do you have any change?”

“They took my wallet, Shawn.”

“But do you have any change in your pockets?” Shawn persisted.

Gus rolled his eyes but shifted his weight and stuck his hand in his pocket anyway. “Nothing.”

“Try your other one,” Shawn urged, looking around the bench again.

Doing as his friend asked, Gus moved so that he could get into his left pocket. A moment after, he suddenly grinned. “Hey, I do have something.”

“Good!” Shawn held out his hand. “Go call Lassie and Jules. I’ll keep an eye on the bad guys.”

“You must be out of your mind, Shawn.” Gus didn’t look one bit happy with the suggestion. “What if they see me?”

“Just activate the jackal mode,” Shawn suggested. “You know, the one you’re the master at doing?”

“Right.” Gus straightened his jacket and stood. “Watch this.”

“Go get ‘em, buddy,” Shawn whispered after his friend before hunkering back down in the booth. He stole another look across the restaurant. The car thieves had taken a table towards the opposite back corner of the room; thankfully the large vintage jukebox that stood against the wall helped to hide Shawn’s seat from the men’s line of sight.

A few moments later, Gus returned. He smirked at Shawn. “Did you see that? I still got it!”

“Of course you do,” Shawn told him. “Was Lassie mad?”

Gus gave him a look. “I called Juliet. I’m not stupid enough to call Lassiter after we were involved in the theft of his car.”

“But we weren’t,” Shawn corrected him.

“We were in the car when it happened. I think that makes us guilty by association in Lassiter’s eyes.”

Shawn sighed. “How long?”

“They traced my call and we’re at least two hours outside of Santa Barbara,” Gus told him. “They’ve called local law enforcement though, and they should be here in about fifteen minutes.”

“Oh…” Shawn turned to look at the men again. “Maybe we should talk to them and keep them busy until someone gets here.”

“What?” Gus stared at Shawn in disbelief. “How are you going to keep them busy for that long?”

“Psht, please, Gus, I know at least 30 knock-knock jokes.”

Gus didn’t look pleased. “They’ll recognize you, Shawn.”

“They looked at us for maybe thirty seconds, Gus,” Shawn reasoned. “And they were rushing, what with the car they had to steal and all. I don’t think they’ll remember me.”

Before Gus could argue further, one of the men waved for the waitress. “Check, please,” he barked.

Gus caught the look in Shawn’s eye. “Shawn, don’t you dare…”

But Shawn was already up and headed across the room. The man who had waved for the check was just putting several bills down on the table when Shawn arrived.

“How was your meal, gentlemen?” he inquired, making his tone as cheerful as possible.

Neither of the men even glanced at him.

“Fine,” one bit out. “We’re in a hurry, okay?”

“I will make it as snappy as possible!” Shawn chirped, gathering up the bills. He paused and turned the money over in his hand. He then held one up to the light and squinted at it. “I’m not so sure that we can accept this. It looks like a fake.”

“What?” the older of the two looked up at that. “What are you accusing us of?”

“Of what am I accusing you?” Shawn corrected. He put his free hand on his hip and gave the men his sternest look. “I’m just saying this looks fraudulent is all.”

“Who counterfeits ten dollar bills anyway?” the younger thief snapped. “Just go finish up our bill so we can leave. We told you we’re in a hurry.”

Shawn made no move to leave. “Well, I have a business to run, you know. I just want to make sure everything is in order.”

The older of the pair in the booth rolled his eyes and reached a hand across the table to stop the other. “Fine,” he told Shawn. “You’ve got one of those counterfeit-detecting pens up front?”

“Probably,” Shawn drawled.

“Then go check it out. We’ll wait til you come back.”

Shawn nodded and smiled. “Sure, sure. I’ll be right back.” He winked. “I’ve got my eyes on you, though, so no ducking out. You know, one time, there was this guy who came in--”

The older man cleared his throat loudly.

“Okay, okay; I’m going.” Shawn turned and sauntered off to the counter.

When he reached the register, the waitress had just finished helping a customer and was glaring at him. “What do you think you’re doing, young man?”

Shawn leaned in. “I’m going to tell you a secret, okay? I’m a psychic, and I work with the police. Those men are car thieves and I’m trying to keep them here until the officers arrive.”

“Really?” The woman didn’t look convinced. “And do you have any I.D.?”

“Um…”

She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. “Give me those,” she told him, holding her hand out for the money. “Get out.”

“But--”

“Out. Now. Or I call the cops for real.”

Shawn protested at that. “But we already called them.”

“We?” She raised her eyebrows even higher.

“Well, my partner, Parker Peters, did. I’m just trying to keep them from leaving.”

“Out!” the woman repeated. If looks could kill, Shawn would have already been dead.

Gus had overheard what was going on and was now at Shawn’s side. “Come on, Shawn. Let’s go.”

“But Gus--”

“Now, Shawn,” Gus hissed, grabbing his friend’s arm.

Suddenly, there was a shout from the booth where the two carjackers had been sitting. “Hey!”

“I told you they’d recognize you, Shawn!” Gus groaned.

“Me? Maybe it was you!” Shawn protested.

Another shout from the bad guys’ table, and Shawn and Gus started pushing one another to make it out the door of the diner first.

They tumbled out into the daylight and scrambled around the corner.

“Now what, Shawn?” Gus yelled. “We don’t have a car!”

“Why do I have to come up with a plan?” Shawn exclaimed indignantly.

Gus threw his arms up in exasperation. “Because it’s your fault we’re in this mess in the first place!”

“Now that’s not fair!” Shawn was interrupted by the sound of the front door of the diner flying open.

“Where’d they go?” a voice carried over to where they were crouched on the opposite side of the building.

“We’re going to die,” Gus gulped.

Just then, the wail of sirens broke through the air.

Shawn gave Gus a smug smile. “Not today, we’re not!”

 

* * *

“Spencer!”

Shawn looked up with a grin as Lassiter and Juliet entered the station. “Hi, Lassieface!”

It was several hours later, after the local sheriff’s department had arrived at the diner and taken both carjackers into custody. They had found keys to a second stolen vehicle on the men, as well as Shawn and Gus’s phones and wallets. Shawn had called Juliet to let her know they were safe, and then the two friends had been taken down to the station to give their statements.

“Shawn, I’m so glad you’re safe!” Juliet was right on her partner’s heels. “You too, Gus,” she added.

“Spencer, you’d better have a very good explanation for why my car was stolen!”

“Well, see, there were these guys with guns--”

Juliet turned and gave her partner a look. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“You thought I did it on purpose?” Shawn blinked, giving the head detective his best puppy dog eyes. “I can understand you thinking Gus would have, but me? Ouch!” he yelped, returning the kick to the shins that he had just received.

Gus grunted, then reached over and slapped him across the arm. The gesture was returned by Shawn slugging his friend’s shoulder.

“Enough!” Lassiter bellowed.

Shawn and Gus froze. Gus had a fistful of Shawn’s polo shirt, and Shawn had grabbed Gus’s ear.

“If you cannot behave like two mature human beings, you are going to be walking home.” The head detective spun on his heel and headed out the door.

As one, the friends turned to Juliet with pleading looks.

She hid a smile. “Go get in the car, but if you fight, I will make you get out and walk home,” she told them before following her partner.

“Don’t worry, Gus. Jules would never do that,” Shawn said, releasing his friend.

“Yes I would,” she called back.

“No you wouldn’t!” Shawn jogged to catch up with her.

Gus turned to the deputy who had been watching the whole exchange. “Thanks for the ride,” he said, then hurried after the others.


End file.
